More About Men from Women
- What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
- His wife is good at picking out clothes.
- What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
- What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
- How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
- How is a man like the weather?
- Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
- What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
- The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.
- Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of?
- Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
- What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
- What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
- What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
- Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any.
- How are men like noodles?
- They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
- Why are men and spray paint alike?
- One squeeze and they're all over you.
- Why is food better than men?
- Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.
- Why would women be better off if men treated them like cars?
- At least then they would get a little attention every 6 months or 5000 miles, whichever came first.
- Why do men have a hole in their penis?
- So oxygen can get to their brains.
- What do ceramic tiles and men have in common?
- If you lay them right the first time, you can walk on them for life!
- How do you grow your own dope?
- How are all men multiorgasmic?
- They have one small one while having sex with "their" woman....and a second, much bigger one the next day while telling their buddies about it.
- What about the man who saw the sign "Drink Canada Dry"?
- What does a woman do with her asshole before having sex?
- She drops him off at the golfcourse.
- How do you get a man to do situps?
- Put the remote control between his toes
- What do men consider housecleaning?
- Lifting their feet so you can vacuum under them
- How do you save a man from drowning?
- Take your foot off his head
- What do men consider a 7 course meal?
- A hotdog and a six pack of beer
- How does a man change a roll of toilet paper?
- No one knows - we've never seen it done!
- Why is it good that there are women astronauts?
- So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.
- How can you tell if a man is excited?
- How do men exercise on the beach?
- By sucking in their stomach everytime a bikini goes by.
- What do men consider foreplay?
- How can you tell if a man is happy?
- What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
- 1. No mind.
- 2. No business.
- If men got pregnant....
- Abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
- Because they already have boyfriends.
- Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
- How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
- Two ways to cross a river.
- What is a man's view of safe sex?
- How do men sort their laundry?
- "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
- What can a bird do that a man can't?
- Whistle through its pecker!
- How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
- What would get your man to put down the toilet seat?
- Why did the man cross the road?
- He heard the chicken was a slut.
- Why do women fake orgasm?
- Because men fake foreplay!
- Why do men talk so dirty?
- So they can wash their mouth out with beer.
- Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
- So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
- Why don't women blink during foreplay?
- Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
- They won't stop to ask directions!
- Why don't women have men's brains?
- Because they don't have penises to keep them in!
- What do toy trains and breasts have in common?
- They're usually intended for the children, but it's the husbands who end up playing with them!
- What do you have when you've got 2 little balls in your hand?
- A man's undivided attention.
- What happens when a man opens his zipper?
|