If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG. If you stay at home and do the housework you are a PANSIE.

If you work too hard there is NEVER ANY TIME FOR HER AND THE KIDS. If you don't work hard enough, you are a GOOD FOR NOTHING LAYABOUT.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay that is EXPLOITATION. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND FIND SOMETHING BETTER. (Yeah, do something about it)

If a man gets a promotion ahead of a woman, that is FAVOURITISM. If a woman gets a promotion ahead of a man, that is EQUAL OPPORTUNITY.

If we mention how nice she looks, that is SEXUAL HARASSMENT. If we keep quiet, that is TYPICAL MALE INDIFFERANCE.

If we cry, we're SHEILIAS. If we don't, we're INSENSITIVE.

If a man thumps a women, that is WIFE BASHING. If they thump us, that is SELF DEFENCE.

If we make a decision without her, we're a CHAUVINIST. If she makes a decision without us, she is a LIBERATED WOMAN.

If we ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that is DOMINATION. If she asks us, its a FAVOUR.

If we appreciate the female in frilly underwear, we're SEXUAL PERVERTS. If we don't notice, we're POOFTERS.

If we like a woman to keep in shape we're, SEXISTS. If we don't care, then we're UNROMANTIC.

If we try to keep ourselves in shape, that is VANITY. If we don't, we're SLOBS.

If we buy her flowers, we are AFTER SOMETHING. If we don't, we're FORGETFUL.

If we are proud of our achievements, we're UP OURSELVES. If we aren't, we're NOT AMBITIOUS.

If we ask for a cuddle, we NEVER THINK OF ANYTHING BUT SEX. If we're totally wrecked after a bad day at work, we NEVER GIVE A STUFF ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES NEEDS.

If she has a headache, it means SHE IS TIRED. If we have a headache, it means WE DON'T LOVE HER ANYMORE.

If we want it too often, we're OVER SEXED. If we don't, THERE MUST BE SOMEONE ELSE.