|
A Funspot
Jokepage |
Sam Clams Disco & MoreLarry Lobster and Sam Clam where best friends. They did everything together. The only difference between them is that Larry was the nicest Lobster ever and Sam, well lets just say he was not so good. Larry and Sam did so much together that they even died together. Larry went to heaven and Sam went to hell. Larry was doing well in heaven and one day St. Peter came up to him and said "Larry, you know you are the nicest clam we ever had up here. Everyone likes you but you seem to be a bit depressed. Tell me what is bothering you, maybe I can help." Larry said, "Well, don't get me wrong Pete, I like it up here and everything, but I really miss my good friend Sam Clam. We used to do everything together and I really miss him a lot." St. Peter looked at Larry with pity and said to him, "I tell you what, I can arrange it so that you can go down to hell tomorrow and visit Sam all day. How does that sound?" This made Larry very happy and he got up bright and early the next morning and grabbed his wings, his harp, and his halo and got in the elevator to hell. When the doors opened he was met by Sam. The hugged each other and they were off. You see in Hell Sam owned a disco. They spent the day there together and had a great time. At the end of the day Larry and Sam went back to the elevator together said their goodbyes and Larry got back in the elevator and went up to heaven. He stepped off the elevator and was greeted by St. Peter who blocked the doorway to heaven. He looked at Larry and said "Larry Lobster, didn't you forget something?" Larry looked around and said "No, I don't think so I have my halo and my wings." St. Peter looked at him and said, "Yes, but what about your harp?" Larry gasped and said, "I Left My Harp in Sam Clam's Disco." |
|
Little Johnny was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him. This upset the teacher, who said to him, "Johnny, is this how your father would have come in - late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again, and get it right this time!" So, Little Johnny left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he'd come in. Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a clatter and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the carpet with his foot and said, "So Honey, didn't expect ME, did ya?" |
And now for something completely different...
And now for something completely the same...
|
Man walks up to a farmers house, knocks on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, the man knocked, again, asked the same question. Again, not amused , she screamed get the hell away. Later, she told her husband of the incident. he said he would stay home the following day just in case. Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while the lady answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she said yes. The man replied, great, give some to your husband the next time you see him , and tell him to keep away from my wife. |
Armageddon means never having to say you're sorry.
|
Three teenage boys in Washington D.C. see President Bill Clinton jogging on the street. About the same time they see a runaway car heading for the President. They run over and pull the President out of the way, thereby saving his life. Feeling grateful to the boys for saving his life, the President tells the boys they can each have any thing they want that is within his powers as President to grant. The first boy asked for a scholarship to Georgetown University, so that he can follow in the President's footsteps. The President called the University and arranged for the boy to start in the fall. The second boy wanted an appointment to the Air Force Academy. The President called a Congressman and arranged for the Congressman to sponsor the boy's appointment to the Academy in the fall. The third wanted to be buried in the Arlington National Cemetery. The President thinks this is a strange request for a teenage boy and asks why the boy wanted that. "Because," said the boy, "when my father finds out I saved your life he's going to kill me."Always remember, no matter where you go, ..............there you are. |
| Go To The Main Index | The Funspot Index | Email me with comments please |