All Purpose Excuse Form
Designed to get you out of the trouble you've gotten in.
Whenever there's a multiple choice, pick the one that works best for
your situation and use it.
You'll be surprised how effective this form can be!
- Dear
(a) Mum
(b) Dad
(c) love of my life
(d) Managing Director
(e) Boss
Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your
(a) Car
(b) House
(c) Pet
(d) Espresso maker
(e) Left arm
was severely damaged by my
(a) infantile
(b) puerile
(c) inept
(d) comically brilliant but nonetheless sadistic
(e) woefully under appreciated
prank.
-
- How could I have known that the
(a) car
(b) jet ski
(c) large helium balloon
(d) Hamster driven sledge
(e) Moped
I was riding would go so far out of control? And while it is true that I should not
have pointed it in the direction of your
(a) house
(b) wife
(c) Cub Scout troop
(d) 1/16th sized replica of the Statue
of Liberty, complete with lightbulb in the torch
(e) priceless collection of coke cans,
you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The subsequent
carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to
(a) imagine
(b) fathom
(c) comprehend
(d) appreciate
(e) pay for,
and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know
that you are perfectly within your rights to
(a) hate me
(b) sue me
(c) spank me
(d) take my firstborn
(e) gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in your koi pond,
but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had, joshing around at
(a) school
(b) work
(c) church
(d) the bowling alley
(e) the local jail,
and to remember that I am first and foremost your
(a) friend
(b) child
(c) sibling
(d) lease co-signer
(e) only possible match should you ever need a bone marrow transplant.
I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one that
(a) was so stupid
(b) was so silly
(c) would have been funny if it worked
(d) you would have done, if you had thought of it first
(e) I'm going to use again on someone else.
Sincerely,
Insert your name here.
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