What do cannibals play? .... Swallow my leader.

Where would you go to see man eating fish? .... A seafood restaurant.

Where do snooker players go for a drink?  .... Potters Bar.

Why do chickens watch television? .... For hentertainment.

What monarch is big, hairy and smells? .... King Pong.

Name a crustacean.... Kings crustacean.

What do cannibals have for lunch? .... Baked beings.

How do you hire a horse? .... Put a brick under each foot.

Why is a foot a fitting christmas present? .... Because it is a stocking filler.

What do you get if you throw a piano down a coal mine? .... A flat miner.

How would you describe a guillotine? .... A pain in the neck.

A dog is the only friend you can buy for money.

What's a parrot's favourite food? .... Parac - eat - em - all.

What would you call someone who eats his mothers sister? .... An Aunt eater.

What do you mean your date with Carol was like pearls? .... Neckless.

Can you tell me the nationality of Napoleon? ... Course I can. .... Correct.

How many kinds of pedestrian crossing are there? .. Two. Those who make it and those who don't.

What is the fastest vegetable in the world? .... A runner bean.

What runs but has no legs? .... A tap.

How long should an elephants legs be? .... Long enough to reach the ground.

How do you get an hippo into a Mini? .... Throw one of the elephants out.

Mother. "If you wanted to go fishing, why didn't you come and ask me first?" Boy. "Because I wanted to go fishing."

Whats big, bright and silly? .... A fool moon.

Why did the pig thief get caught? .... The pig squealed.

What creature eats the least? .... The moth. It just eats holes.

Waiter this soup is awful... Who told you that? .... A little swallow.

I hope you raised smile  Return to main Index